(no subject)
Apr. 28th, 2013 04:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mangofandangoToday we did Cycle the City, and it was a beautiful day. It was so much fun that I don't even mind very much that I sunburned the backs of my hands. :) (Next time, I will remember to sunscreen that area more better. It's not one I think about much!) It's a 10-ish mile route, and while that is a short ride to many people, it's more than I've done for a long time. So yay new bike, and newly forming bikey muscles! I kind of want to do it all the time right now. It's probably the warm-but-not-too-warm weather at work, but I have the general urge to get stronger, and the biking thing feels good and is fun and novel right now.
We had ice cream after, and came home, and then I took the most gratifying shower ever, and now I am deciding whether to make myself useful (vaccuuming) or not (reading my book on the deck?). I hope you all are having similarly satisfying Sunday experiences.
I discovered something about myself that I had kind of forgotten, while on this bike ride. The group stopped at a tower overlooking the city, and we went up and it was fun to see everything, but I also had a manageable, but very present, panicky feeling the whole time. I used to have mild height phobia - largely just a little nervousness, though it did result in a little bit of terror the entire time we were climbing the campanile in Florence because it is SO HIGH and the stairs are SO TINY (COMPLETELY worth it, by the way - that view was amazing.) But now that I have Sophie, it's much worse. My phobia used to be largely a strange compulsive fear of spontaneously dropping stuff over the edge or something. Now it's more like a fear that somehow, even in situations where it would be basically impossible, I'm freaking out about losing MY CHILD over the side. So I climbed up with Ryan and Sophie, and I looked, and it was cool... but as soon as we had seen it I was like OK LET'S GO RIGHT NOW PLEASE. So, that's a thing. I do not know if I would feel as panicky if I climbed a high thing without her - I find that once I had a child, some weird emotional triggers just stick, things that didn't before. One of my friends says that since she became a mom, seeing emergency vehicles pass by often makes her spontaneously cry. I actually understand that. I think weird emotional triggers like that once you have kids might be a fairly common thing?
OK, I'm splitting the difference - vaccuum most needed areas, then read on the deck. :)
We had ice cream after, and came home, and then I took the most gratifying shower ever, and now I am deciding whether to make myself useful (vaccuuming) or not (reading my book on the deck?). I hope you all are having similarly satisfying Sunday experiences.
I discovered something about myself that I had kind of forgotten, while on this bike ride. The group stopped at a tower overlooking the city, and we went up and it was fun to see everything, but I also had a manageable, but very present, panicky feeling the whole time. I used to have mild height phobia - largely just a little nervousness, though it did result in a little bit of terror the entire time we were climbing the campanile in Florence because it is SO HIGH and the stairs are SO TINY (COMPLETELY worth it, by the way - that view was amazing.) But now that I have Sophie, it's much worse. My phobia used to be largely a strange compulsive fear of spontaneously dropping stuff over the edge or something. Now it's more like a fear that somehow, even in situations where it would be basically impossible, I'm freaking out about losing MY CHILD over the side. So I climbed up with Ryan and Sophie, and I looked, and it was cool... but as soon as we had seen it I was like OK LET'S GO RIGHT NOW PLEASE. So, that's a thing. I do not know if I would feel as panicky if I climbed a high thing without her - I find that once I had a child, some weird emotional triggers just stick, things that didn't before. One of my friends says that since she became a mom, seeing emergency vehicles pass by often makes her spontaneously cry. I actually understand that. I think weird emotional triggers like that once you have kids might be a fairly common thing?
OK, I'm splitting the difference - vaccuum most needed areas, then read on the deck. :)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-04-29 02:14 am (UTC)