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On nursing a toddler
Sep. 6th, 2010 09:33 pmSophie is almost 14 months old, and so now and then I am starting to get questions about when we will wean. My answer is the same as it was before she was born - I don't know. When it's no longer mutually desired, is the short answer.
The long answer is something like this:
When she was small, I pictured myself wanting to wean after a year, which is the AAP recommended minimum. I felt that way because nursing small babies is more consuming, and because my particular baby had sensitivities that made eating hard for a while - I was off dairy, wheat, eggs, nuts, and briefly other stuff because I didn't know what the heck was wrong with her.
But now, I only have to cut out eggs and nuts, and that's only until we get repeat allergy testing to confirm or deny the sensitivity. Okay, and goat cheese, which seems to be a problem for her. ;) But really, it's not too bad. That and...nursing her is no longer something that takes up so much effort and time and thought, at all. Nowadays, she nurses when she asks to nurse - less when she's busy, more when she's in pain or tired. She nurses for usually 5 minutes or less at a time. At night, she does want to nurse when she wakes up, but I can just latch her on and pass back out - I think I'm getting WAY MORE sleep because of nursing. I still pump a bit for when I'm away from her in the evening now and then, but otherwise I don't need to worry about it.
Plus, she can communicate so much better. She doesn't freak out about nursing much these days, because she knows she can just ask me nicely and I will let her. It's peaceful and so, so sweet. (I don't really understand why people sometimes say that it's weird to nurse once the child can ask for it. I mean, newborns ask for it, just in different ways! If language is the thing that makes it weird, why is that? Knowing words for breastfeeding doesn't magically make it sexual all of a sudden, which is the only squick anyone can ever really name regarding this issue. I mean really, stopping nursing because the child can ask for it seems a lot like stopping hugging because the child can ask for it - equally arbitrary. But anyway, I digress.)
So what's left for us is the good stuff. We can take a break and be quiet and still (or not - she is a toddler! But she's largely past the nursing gymnastics stage unless she's really wired or uncomfortable). We get to snuggle and look at each other. It's her greatest comfort, and it's comforting to me, too. We get more peaceful rest. And all the benefits remain, so I don't worry much about her nutrition even on days when she doesn't eat much food, and I get the added bonus of a kid who gets antibodies from me. If she gets sick, her immune system will get stronger and she has help from breastmilk in fighting it off!
There are a few things I am giving up or putting off to do this. Food will be easier once she is weaned or deemed non-allergic, and I look forward to that. I also look forward to making fashion choices that are not entirely built upon easy breast access. :) (Plus, nursing bras tend toward the frumpy, and I miss my cute non-nursing bras! There is a lot of white and beige in my life right now, and I am really more of a red or polka-dotted kind of girl. ;)) Lastly, I imagine the tether will be longer once we are not nursing, and evening babysitting and such will be easier. But the tether gets longer every day on its own, because she's growing up, and so it'll happen eventually. She's only a baby-type person for so long, and I treasure this time. (I did not treasure her newborn period, so I am happy to have this feeling now!) I did not expect to feel this way about nursing, but it feels absolutely right to keep going and absolutely foreign and arbitrary to stop now.
So, like many things, we are taking it one day at a time. But I am happy with this right now, and I know it is a huge part of her world that she is far from ready to be done with. If either of those things change, we'll re-evaluate.
The long answer is something like this:
When she was small, I pictured myself wanting to wean after a year, which is the AAP recommended minimum. I felt that way because nursing small babies is more consuming, and because my particular baby had sensitivities that made eating hard for a while - I was off dairy, wheat, eggs, nuts, and briefly other stuff because I didn't know what the heck was wrong with her.
But now, I only have to cut out eggs and nuts, and that's only until we get repeat allergy testing to confirm or deny the sensitivity. Okay, and goat cheese, which seems to be a problem for her. ;) But really, it's not too bad. That and...nursing her is no longer something that takes up so much effort and time and thought, at all. Nowadays, she nurses when she asks to nurse - less when she's busy, more when she's in pain or tired. She nurses for usually 5 minutes or less at a time. At night, she does want to nurse when she wakes up, but I can just latch her on and pass back out - I think I'm getting WAY MORE sleep because of nursing. I still pump a bit for when I'm away from her in the evening now and then, but otherwise I don't need to worry about it.
Plus, she can communicate so much better. She doesn't freak out about nursing much these days, because she knows she can just ask me nicely and I will let her. It's peaceful and so, so sweet. (I don't really understand why people sometimes say that it's weird to nurse once the child can ask for it. I mean, newborns ask for it, just in different ways! If language is the thing that makes it weird, why is that? Knowing words for breastfeeding doesn't magically make it sexual all of a sudden, which is the only squick anyone can ever really name regarding this issue. I mean really, stopping nursing because the child can ask for it seems a lot like stopping hugging because the child can ask for it - equally arbitrary. But anyway, I digress.)
So what's left for us is the good stuff. We can take a break and be quiet and still (or not - she is a toddler! But she's largely past the nursing gymnastics stage unless she's really wired or uncomfortable). We get to snuggle and look at each other. It's her greatest comfort, and it's comforting to me, too. We get more peaceful rest. And all the benefits remain, so I don't worry much about her nutrition even on days when she doesn't eat much food, and I get the added bonus of a kid who gets antibodies from me. If she gets sick, her immune system will get stronger and she has help from breastmilk in fighting it off!
There are a few things I am giving up or putting off to do this. Food will be easier once she is weaned or deemed non-allergic, and I look forward to that. I also look forward to making fashion choices that are not entirely built upon easy breast access. :) (Plus, nursing bras tend toward the frumpy, and I miss my cute non-nursing bras! There is a lot of white and beige in my life right now, and I am really more of a red or polka-dotted kind of girl. ;)) Lastly, I imagine the tether will be longer once we are not nursing, and evening babysitting and such will be easier. But the tether gets longer every day on its own, because she's growing up, and so it'll happen eventually. She's only a baby-type person for so long, and I treasure this time. (I did not treasure her newborn period, so I am happy to have this feeling now!) I did not expect to feel this way about nursing, but it feels absolutely right to keep going and absolutely foreign and arbitrary to stop now.
So, like many things, we are taking it one day at a time. But I am happy with this right now, and I know it is a huge part of her world that she is far from ready to be done with. If either of those things change, we'll re-evaluate.
