The results are in.

[mangofandango]

And it's not pretty.

Sophie's detailed results of her recent allergy testing arrived today. This post provides a little background about the numbers and stuff, but: last year, her peanut result was 51.9 - strongly positive. (The threshold for "100% likely to react if exposed" is 14.) This year, her result was 85.9. That is a number, when it comes to peanuts especially, that scares the crap out of me.

Eggs went up too, but they are not as dramatic either in increase or level. This year egg white was 27.9 and yolk is 11 (last year it was 18 something and 9). She's still nearly 100% likely to react if exposed, but odds are better with egg in terms of the severity of the reaction.

I used to say that if I could pick one, I hoped she'd outgrow egg. I totally take that back. Egg is something people don't understand as well, and eggs are harder, I think, to avoid. But egg is generally less likely to result in anaphylaxis. Peanuts are generally much more dangerous. And I read that news not too long ago about the 13 year old girl who died because she took one bite of a peanut butter rice krispie treat, by accident, and then spit it out, was given antihistamines and stuck with 3 Epi-pens and died anyway.

Screw making life easier, I just want Sophie to NOT DIE.

(I am grateful that we are as lucky as we are, in so many ways, with her. She is generally healthy and happy and doesn't face certain death or anything. But sometimes I still get really, really upset that she can be killed by a fucking peanut. Or a trace of a peanut. It could happen so easily, and I know that's true of car accidents and everything else but you know, it's a fucking peanut. It's nothing. It's like everyone around us carries bombs that might go off any minute.)

After the results came in the mail, Sophie noticed I was a bit snappy with her, and I decided to be honest. I said "I'm sorry, it's just that your allergy test results came and the numbers were higher this year, which means you're still very very allergic to peanuts and eggs. I'm just feeling a little bit sad about that." She said "You don't have to worry about it Mama, that's just how life is." Yes. And yet, little girl, and yet.

Comments

[kaberett.livejournal.com]

... oh child, my heart.

[mangofandango.livejournal.com]

She's right, in a lot of the ways. And more importantly, I am glad she feels that way about it at this point in her life. But mostly...yes, exactly - oh child, my heart. <3

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

I am really sorry to hear that. It seems like such a stressful situation to be in. *hugs*

[lpsmith.livejournal.com]

Wow, what a remarkable child. And don't forget that especially with the internet, it is very easy to find horrible stories that, while they are real, do not by themselves reflect a balanced reality. But I know that's easy to say and easy to believe with your head, but hard to believe with your heart--best of luck to the three of you as you navigate these waters.

[mangofandango.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. I tend to catastrophize and this kind of thing is really easy to do that with. I do know that she's more likely to be okay than not, overall...most people can be saved, and we are very careful, and so on. It really is just a very hard thing for my heart to accept! I'm glad my kiddo is both innocent enough and wise enough to accept it, though.

[poppleshatesyou.livejournal.com]

Oh sweet babe! Sorry to hear about the less than great results. :( Food allergies are so scary.

[gemini7.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear this. :( She is so wise!

[anthologie.livejournal.com]

Ugh, that's a big scary number. *big hugs*

[barrelofrain.livejournal.com]

That's scary. Is that something she can be desensitized to a little with allergy shots or something?

Also, you've likely heard of it, but I really enjoyed the book Don't Kill the Birthday Girl.

[mangofandango.livejournal.com]

The allergist wanted to try and desensitize her to egg by challenge testing her with baked goods that contain them (the idea being that some mild, broken down exposure might help her body chill out about it, I guess). The problem is that her numbers are high enough that they feel it's too risky (because she's almost definitely going to have some reaction, and they can't know what that reaction will be).

It seems to be a catch 22 situation. If we could expose her to very teeny amounts (as might be in allergy shots - no one's ever mentioned them to me but I guess that is probably a thing!), that might help bring the numbers down. But the numbers are too high for that to be safe, so...yeah.

I have never heard of that book! I've been having triggery reactions to reading some things about food allergies, but I also feel like reading about someone who has successfully made it to adulthood with that many allergies might be really helpful to me. So I think I will get my hands on that book. :) Thanks buddy!

[barrelofrain.livejournal.com]

I don't know if food allergies act the exact same way as drug allergies, but for my drug allergies, the problem with just doing a challenge (with penicillin, for example, or eggs in baked goods) is that you might calm down the reaction while exposure is constant, however, if she didn't continue to have them in small amounts every single day, the tolerance is lost/reset and you have to start over (and risk having a reaction again).

I'm surprised they haven't mentioned allergy shots, but I guess it could be because her numbers are so high. They do them in teensy teensy amounts, and you have to sit in the doctor's office for a certain amount of time afterwards to make sure that you don't have a reaction, so it's slightly safer.

I read that book at least a year or so ago, so I don't really remember the exact content in terms of what might be triggering. But, what I enjoyed about it was that it was a good mix of personal story and scientific stuff.