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mangofandangoMy first love was actually the person I married. That makes this either a really boring story or a really interesting one, depending, I guess, on how you see this sort of thing.
Ryan and I grew up together, but never really knew each other until we were teenagers. We went to the same elementary school - he was one of the Big Scary Sixth Graders when I was in the fourth grade. I remember reading stories he wrote (with illustrations!) on the bulletin board in the hallway.
When I was in 5th grade, my family started homeschooling. We joined a group of homeschooling families who got together for field trips, classes taught by parents with interesting skills, and meetings for the parents/running around crazy time for the kids. When I was...12 or 13, I think, we met Ryan's family. They had just started homeschooling, too. I was friends with his sister first, but I met Ryan for the first time after choir practice, on a swing set. We played an epic game of hide and seek at his house soon after, with a bunch of other homschooled kids, while the parents had a meeting. This was when I developed a crush on him.
I was 15 when we finally kissed for the first time, in a tent on a youth group camping trip (yes, really). We have been together ever since. We considered breaking up or something similar when Ryan left for college, but ultimately, we didn't do it. I went to visit him at school, my first real trips by myself. When he graduated, it was time for me to go away to college (I had done my first two years at community college near my parents' house, but was tranferring to finish my B.A.) We got married when I was 19, and then moved to Rhode Island so I could start school at URI.
I think we are very lucky to still be happy together despite getting started so young, having no other relationship experience, and having started out with my mental and emotional health being so bad. (As a teenager and for the first few years we were married, I had MAJOR anxiety problems, as well as depression that came and went. I don't think either of us understood that at all for a long time. I started therapy in college and I think that plus the fact that we are best friends got us through the early years.)
I always feel a little odd when I explain that I married my high school sweetheart, essentially. Dating only one person and getting married at a young age isn't really a course of action that I would generally recommend, and I think it's a choice that seemingly represents some things I don't actually identify with (many people who marry young and date very little are people with religious beliefs I don't have, values I don't share, etc.) But we fell in love very young (and I did actually have different values, then). Despite the difficulties associated with literally growing up together, we still are in love and happy, and now we have a daughter we adore. So...sometimes even the choices I can't recommend in general are the best ones for me, anyway. :)
At the ripe old age of 29, I have been married for 9 years. I am glad for all those years together and happy to have many more to look forward to.
Ryan and I grew up together, but never really knew each other until we were teenagers. We went to the same elementary school - he was one of the Big Scary Sixth Graders when I was in the fourth grade. I remember reading stories he wrote (with illustrations!) on the bulletin board in the hallway.
When I was in 5th grade, my family started homeschooling. We joined a group of homeschooling families who got together for field trips, classes taught by parents with interesting skills, and meetings for the parents/running around crazy time for the kids. When I was...12 or 13, I think, we met Ryan's family. They had just started homeschooling, too. I was friends with his sister first, but I met Ryan for the first time after choir practice, on a swing set. We played an epic game of hide and seek at his house soon after, with a bunch of other homschooled kids, while the parents had a meeting. This was when I developed a crush on him.
I was 15 when we finally kissed for the first time, in a tent on a youth group camping trip (yes, really). We have been together ever since. We considered breaking up or something similar when Ryan left for college, but ultimately, we didn't do it. I went to visit him at school, my first real trips by myself. When he graduated, it was time for me to go away to college (I had done my first two years at community college near my parents' house, but was tranferring to finish my B.A.) We got married when I was 19, and then moved to Rhode Island so I could start school at URI.
I think we are very lucky to still be happy together despite getting started so young, having no other relationship experience, and having started out with my mental and emotional health being so bad. (As a teenager and for the first few years we were married, I had MAJOR anxiety problems, as well as depression that came and went. I don't think either of us understood that at all for a long time. I started therapy in college and I think that plus the fact that we are best friends got us through the early years.)
I always feel a little odd when I explain that I married my high school sweetheart, essentially. Dating only one person and getting married at a young age isn't really a course of action that I would generally recommend, and I think it's a choice that seemingly represents some things I don't actually identify with (many people who marry young and date very little are people with religious beliefs I don't have, values I don't share, etc.) But we fell in love very young (and I did actually have different values, then). Despite the difficulties associated with literally growing up together, we still are in love and happy, and now we have a daughter we adore. So...sometimes even the choices I can't recommend in general are the best ones for me, anyway. :)
At the ripe old age of 29, I have been married for 9 years. I am glad for all those years together and happy to have many more to look forward to.
