Due date

Jul. 7th, 2009 07:39 pm
mangofandango: (mango_icons - julie benz)
Due date! No baby yet. Instead I have a wicked headache, am feeling sick and tired, and other things that are non-fun. However, I also have a due date cupcake from Meg and due date roses from Kelly, and baby feet poking me in the insides (I am marking this under the "good things" column.)

No definitive signs that baby is coming imminently, but we are hopeful anyway. I'm going to go sleep while I can now!
mangofandango: (btvs/ mouthfullofdust/ circle)
Zachary David Marmar

I didn't know Zach very well, but I did know him to be gentle, sweet, and very talented with a ball of fire - and I knew that Kelly loved him. I'm very sad that he died. I have been thinking about how he was just here, talking to Eleanor and mowing the lawn, and spinning fire at Erin's birthday party. He was just here. It's so sad and strange.

There is an awful lot of crisis around me. It makes life seem sad and scary. I wish I could just love everybody hard enough to make it better.

On the bright, happier side - today is 37 weeks, which is a magic number. At this point, if I went into labor, they wouldn't try to stop it, because the baby is more or less ready. So are we.
mangofandango: (btvs/letsey_x/betterthanyou)
Doctor's appointment today: glucose testing is done and I do not have The Diabetes. I had to eat 18 jelly beans (Brachs) in 2 minutes, which was way harder than I thought - in fact, actively impossible. I chewed and chewed, and still it took me 4 minutes to do! I also felt pretty bad for a few minutes afterwards. But hey, I win at blood sugar levels - I was at 112 and the cutoff is 135, so it's all good. Also I have good hemoglobin, perfect weight gain, various measurements, etc. I am a perfect specimen of Pregnant Woman. My dad says it's good to excel at things. ;) (I keep kind of waiting for a shoe to drop somewhere, but I'm also trying to avoid that sort of thinking.)

Other news:
I have a scary looking sunburn marring my poor, perfect cleavage ;), due to spending a delightful day in the sun yesterday supervising yard work and occasionally wielding power tools (!). I wore sunscreen, but I find that the only stuff that works for me is the horrible, thick, zinc-y physical block kind, and usually only if it's fairly new. I am apparently a stinking delicate flower. With a tingly burning chest.

Ryan's birthday was yesterday, and he is 29. We went to dinner at Tilley's, so I got to have a pregnancy-safe sushi roll that basically made my week. Also, yesterday morning, we had the best lemon poppyseed cake I have ever eaten, thanks to Meg. Clearly, I cannot compete with that and should never make it with my recipe ever again. :) We went to a birthday party for Erin this weekend too, so I am full of birthday fun. I was glad that being pregnant didn't make me too tired to enjoy a party - I had a good time and even stayed up until a bit after midnight. ;) I was fine the next day, too! I am full of awesome.

We are watching "Castle", and then I will begin the long, arduous process of getting ready for bed. Good night, y'all.
mangofandango: (drhorrible/dontburnhot/clarification)
This article on pregnancy and alcohol, caffeine, listeria, etc. features my favorite closing sentence ever:

"Try to remember, when the advice turns out to be nonsense, that not everyone has evil motives: some people will give you bad advice because they are stupid or ill-informed. Others will give you bad advice because, without even realising it, they have a yen to bring the business of procreation under closer central control. They just don't trust you. But then, why should they? You are an absurd shape and you keep crying."
mangofandango: (btvs/frostthepie/ hot chicks with superp)
Possible side effect of pregnancy #12834: I have an increasingly difficult time *not* verbally eviscerating everyday idiots and assholes on the internet.

INCREASINGLY. DIFFICULT.
mangofandango: (ats/letsey_x/numfar do the dance of joy)
Things Alejandro likes ("likes", here, is an interpretation of what it means when Alejandro moves a lot. This may signify hate, too, but I don't think so based on the things in question. :))

- Body work. Every time I am on a table, there is a party in my uterus. Especially work on my neck, head, and shoulders - because who doesn't like a hit of endorphins? In fact, during an appointment with Erin, I *saw* the movement for what may have been the first time while she was doing work on my neck and scalp that had me looking down towards my belly.

- Being in the car. This was all well and good until things got kind of rowdy in there suddenly while I was driving. I am now aware that this may happen and thus hope not to be dangerously surprised by being beaten in the internal organs while trying to navigate.

- Haagan Daz coffee ice cream. This is a passion we currently really, really share. (Chocolate chip cookie dough, which I got as a stand-in for coffee ice cream they DID NOT HAVE, is not having the same effect on the baby or on me. :P)

- The middle of the night. I know, they wake up while the mother is resting - and I get some movement while watching TV or video games or whatever quite frequently, too. But dude, it's like a disco in there every time I wake up in the night. At 5 this morning I thought maybe it had hiccups - do they get hiccups this early? I know they start swallowing amniotic fluid at 21ish weeks, and here we are at 22 weeks, so...maybe? I should check. It felt like a somewhat rhythmic jolt, over and over for quite a while.

It is fun feeling my inner alienbaby move. Well, you know, most of the time. ;)
mangofandango: (misc/ mouthfullofdust/ totoro)

Hey look, an ultrasound photo!

The ultrasound was actually super fun. Seeing movement was really cool, and all the parts (you can see brain and rib cage/spine and stomach etc. oh my!) I posted more info on the baby blog just a minute ago. I don't feel like typing it out again at the moment because I am tired but dude, it was cool, and things are good.

Feel free to inquire about what you're seeing and I will try to explain. It was all pretty clear when there was a moving image with context...the stills, however, are hard to interpret if you weren't there. ;)

The whole big strip, complete with clumsy labeling, behind the cut )
mangofandango: (moves/dtissagirl/pepper)
Ultrasound today! I am excited. I like to see what's going on in there! Also, assuming there is fetal co-operation, we will find out the sex today. Then not tell you, sorry. :)

Eeeep!
mangofandango: (ats/mouthfullofdust/evil white people)
In catching up with the current season of Supernatural, we just got to the episode with Jensen doing "Eye of the Tiger" at the end. HEE. Since the middle-to-end of S3, Ryan has quietly taken to watching with me, and he HEE-ed just as much as I did. :)

Something fun and pregnancy related that I forgot to say before, cut for the pregsqueamish )
mangofandango: (drhorrible/letsey_x/bashinminds)
Back when I was 7 weeks pregnant or so, I was spotting. So the doctors had me sit around a lot and not do too much until it stopped. However, by the time it stopped, I was suffering from The Nausea and also The Exhaustion, so I still didn't do very much. Now I am better and, depending on the day, I have more energy.

However, inertia has set in. This is the same inertia, usually coupled with crippling depression, that sets in for me in the winter quite often. I am not cripplingly depressed this time. I am probably a bit depressed, sure - much of what I'm about to describe is classic depressive stuff. But I'm a lot of things right now due to, you know, being pregnant, and I don't feel overwhelmingly "sad depressed" as much as "listless depressed". I just don't really do anything of my own accord, despite having things I could do and theoretically want to do. I'll go out if someone initiates it (and enjoy it, even), I'll make appointments and fulfill obligations - if nothing else, I am wildly responsible, and that is pretty normal for me. ;) But I don't do things just to entertain myself, other than sit in front my computer, or watch TV, or nap. Sometimes I read, but not as much as I wish I did. I often have no motivation beyond what Needs To Be Done.

Mostly I just feel like a boring, lazy bum right now. However, I am told the word "lazy" is just an attack on myself and it is not really helpful for me to dwell on feeling that way, and I guess that is true. So instead, I am trying to break it down.

Instead of placing negative value judgments on the TV, I will use the TV. In front of the TV, I can do some of the things I am not doing - the exercises for my back, the photo album that has been sitting and waiting for attention for ages now, the knitting projects I want to try to do. I actually have no problem with good, narrative-based television, just with the way I've been passively existing lately. So, while watching TV, I will do something a little less passive. Granted, knitting isn't mind-blowingly interesting, but it's a place to start breaking out of the rut I am in. :)

I think another thing that feeds into my behavior lately is this - I am afraid of never being able to "do nothing" again. (On the flip side, I am terrified of not being able to *do* things, but that's another story.) I know that in some ways that sort of fear is justified and in some ways it isn't. But it's so much easier to sit here for ages at a time doing little-to-nothing when I think about the fact that I have days right now where I have no real, pressing responsibilities, and I can do that. I want to take advantage of those opportunities sometimes, because really, once we have a baby, I will always have some responsibility. Also, sometimes I am legitimately really tired and unwell, and on those days I figure it's probably okay to do what I'm doing. But taking advantage of that sometimes, or feeling low-energy on some days, is not the same as making "listless" the theme of my life right now, and I want to get out of that particular place.

Also, I want to use this time to learn Italian with the CDs I bought a long time ago, and henna my hair, and read tons of books, and use the yoga DVD at home, and feel interesting again. Sound good? Yeah, I thought so. ;) (I can't wait for warm weather. It makes me feel so much better, I can't even tell you.)
mangofandango: (tori/spinners_end/lucywaspretty)
Ryan and I started a blog for our families and other interested people, so that they can read pregnancy updates without handing out my LJ name. ;) While you guys will be getting updates here (and I'll be posting my less public-friendly posts here with an f-lock), I thought some of you might be interested in reading the blog. I probably won't do a lot of direct double posting, so the updates there will be different from the updates here, if that makes sense.

At any rate, the blog is here:

http://baby.freebern.org/

Also, happy 2009. :)
mangofandango: (ad/ floatingicons/ operation hot mother)
[Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] did the cuter, Juno-inspired post already, but:

Hi guys. I am back from Christmas, and it was very good. While we were there, we told our parents/families that I AM PREGNANT. Now, if you're like basically every member of my family, you just paused for a few seconds and then said things like "Are you serious?" and "Noooo - really?"

Yes, I am serious and yes, really. :)

We'll talk pregnancy filters and stuff soon, but for now, I use lj-cuts to spare you if you don't want to read epic posts about pregnancy, k?

See back here for the pregnancy-related details. )

About the actual announcing part )

Okay, so tomorrow maybe I will post more about Christmas, and maybe more about pregnancy too. I hope you all are having fabulous winter holidays if you celebrate them. I wish you many delicious cookies. <3

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