Feb. 16th, 2014 10:20 am
mangofandango: (gg/ trutdelamode/ rory and logan)
[personal profile] mangofandango
I've been reading my old journals - like, really old, from when I was a teenager. It's a strange experience. I have all the diaries and journals I kept as a kid, and they've been sitting on a shelf for years, but something possessed me recently and I picked one up. It's...I recognize myself, but I don't, and as is always the thing when you read old writing...god, it's embarassing sometimes! I was so sure at 15 and 16 and 17 that I was pretty much already set, I knew what was up, and I was Smarter and Wiser and felt things more truly and deeply than "normal teenagers". Cringe. But despite the cringe, I am so glad I kept these books. They still mean something to me even though they are nothing I'd want to share with others. :) And it struck me this morning that maybe the reason I am drawn to my teenage journals right now is partly because of this sort of chrysalis stage I'm in - pregnancy feels that way to me, like I want to be quiet and still and look in and wait, and then when I am done, I will have a different life. I think more so in winter, because I tend to want to hibernate anyway, but...yeah. And when I was a teenager, it was a different kind of chrysalis stage - but still definitely that. I mean, it's practically a universal teen feeling, maybe. Like, I had all this STUFF inside me and I was just kind of waiting to live my real life, because that's how it felt (even though now I realize, it's all your real life, kiddo, every minute). And when you leave that're something else. So.

Look, reading my teenage writing has made me want to write Journal Entries. hee. :)
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.


mangofandango: (Default)

March 2016

20212223 242526

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 24th, 2017 03:54 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios